Would Ernest Be Proud?

I admire Hemingway. His stories make me sad, but the shattered shards and broken pieces of wisdom he left behind from real life--the blips and quotes--those words speak to my soul. Those words leave me feeling deeply saddened that Ernest and I never had the opportunity to sit across the table from one another (and maybe Bukowski) at the dinner table, or sit quietly together reading in a room that smelled of well-worn leather chairs. In a strange and inexplicable way, Hemingway's thoughts and quotes are like reading letters that have been tucked safely in an attic trunk, documenting a great uncle's time abroad at war. And SOS from someone I never knew and will never meet, but somehow feel pulsing through my veins.

Tonight I wrote a children's book.

My father has been telling me to write a book for years. I protest every time. I tell him that's like telling every cellist in the world they should become Yo-Yo Ma. "Write a book," my father says, ignoring my excuses, "If you can write one or two good ones, that will be great."

Tonight I wrote a children's book. 

The man I love(d) has been telling me to write a book for two years. "What did you do last weekend?," he asks without fail, "Have you written a children's book yet?"

The answer was always no.

Until it wasn't.

Hemingway once said, “Forget your personal tragedy. We are all bitched from the start, and you especially have to be hurt like hell before you can write seriously. But when you get the damned hurt, use it--don't cheat with it."

I chose to write a children's book instead.

You're Not Special

Over the weekend, a teacher at Wellesley High School in Massachusetts gave a rather controversial commencement speech to the graduating class of 2012. Slammed for repeatedly reminding the students “you are not special,” it’s fair to say McCullough’s speech was a bit of an audience-shocker and media stir stick. At the very least, it certainly was not the warm, fuzzy, possibility-filled, metaphor-laden tune we’ve become accustomed to enduring at such events. And while I’m not sure I would have been prepared to digest his message at the tender, wide-eyed age of 17, at 30, I am able distance myself from the shock factor to find some sage insight within. “You see, if everyone is special, then no one is. If everyone gets a trophy, trophies become meaningless. In our unspoken but not so subtle Darwinian competition with one another, we have of late, to our detriment, come to love accolades more than genuine achievement. We have come to see them as the point — and we’re happy to compromise standards or ignore reality if we suspect that’s the quickest way, or only way, to have something to put on the mantelpiece, something to pose with, crow about, something with which to leverage ourselves into a better spot on the social totem pole. No longer is it how you play the game, no longer is it even whether you win or lose, or learn or grow, or enjoy yourself doing it. Now it’s “So what does this get me?

I urge you to do whatever you do for no reason other than you love it and believe in its importance. Don’t bother with work you don’t believe in any more than you would a spouse you’re not crazy about. The fulfilling life, the distinctive life, the relevant life, is an achievement, not something that will fall into your lap. The point is the same: get busy, have at it. Don’t wait for inspiration or passion to find you. Get up, get out, explore, find it yourself, and grab hold with both hands.

The sweetest joys of life, then, come only with the recognition that you’re not special.

Because everyone is.”

This is a message for every business and brand. I speak on behalf of every marketer who has ever wanted to tell you this. Your brand isn’t special just because it is exists. You are not remarkable just because you ran an online promotion and garnered 10,000 new Facebook likes or gained a couple thousand twitter fans. You are not exceptional because of your clever advertisements, memorable commercials or the awards lining your lobby shelves and walls. These things are simply the qualifiers of a “what does this get me?” mentality. And “what does this get me?” is the question a client asks right before they doom themselves to fail.

Good, honest, real marketing shouldn’t be centered around what you gain as a brand, it should celebrate how you play the game, and how you learn and grow (or help other people learn and grow). It should be about how much you enjoy doing what you do. These things are real and genuine and true. The alternative is choosing to keep your eyes fixed on the scoreboard while the game is happening on the field.

Herein lies the truth: Your brand is special because of your passion. You are special because of the mission and cause you believe in. You are special because of the conviction that energizes you and gets you out of bed each day. You special because of the mark you want to make. The people you want to help. That thing you want to do. Your best imaginable day. You are special because of the thing (and people) you love, and your belief in their importance.

Success, much like the fulfilling life, is an achievement, not something that will fall into your lap. As McCullough says, the point is the same: get busy, have at it. Don’t wait for inspiration or passion to find you. Get up, get out, explore, find it yourself, and grab hold with both hands. Focus on genuine achievement, realizing that accolades will follow. Trophies tend to get packed away over the years, but a love letter never tarnishes. The scenic route is rarely the quickest route, but is often the road we remember.

Good, honest, real marketing won’t ever tell you what you want to hear. It won’t tell you that you’re special just to make you smile. Good, honest, real marketing helps you recognize and accept that everyone is special…and then gives you the tools, reveals the path and opens the door to becoming something truly exceptional.

Defining Good Writing

Last week someone posed an interesting question: “What makes writing good?” The more I tried to answer, the more it felt like trying to describe the color yellow or explain infinity.

When you stumble across a piece of good writing, you just get it. You feel it before you know it. You’re compelled to save it, savor it, share it.

A good writer fades into the background of their own story. They don’t just tell you about a place, they transport you there. Good writers don’t just describe characters, they introduce you to strangers who ultimately become friends. Good writing makes you feel as though you have been somewhere, met someone and done something new. When you close the book, you walk away with a feeling that you better understand the world around you.

I’ll soon be heading to New Orleans for my first NOLA experience. While reading through some literary tidbits about New Orleans, I came across this brilliant piece written by journalist Chris Rose.

Dear America,

I suppose we should introduce ourselves. We’re South Louisiana.

We have arrived on your doorstep on short notice and we apologize for that, but we never were much for waiting around for invitations. We’re not much on formalities like that.

And we might be staying around your town for a while, enrolling in your schools and looking for jobs, so we wanted to tell you a few things about us. We know you didn’t ask for this and neither did we, so we’re just going to have to make the best of it.

First of all, we thank you. For your money, your water, your food, your prayers, your boats and buses and the men and women of your National Guards, fire departments, hospitals and everyone else who has come to our rescue. We’re a fiercely proud and independent people, and we don’t cotton much to outside interference, but we’re not ashamed to accept help when we need it. And right now, we need it. Just don’t get carried away. For instance, once we get around to fishing again, don’t try to tell us what kind of lures work best in your waters. We’re not going to listen. We’re stubborn that way.

You probably already know that we talk funny and listen to strange music and eat things you’d probably hire an exterminator to get out of your yard. We dance even if there’s no radio. We drink at funerals. We talk too much and laugh too loud and live too large and, frankly, we’re suspicious of others who don’t. But we’ll try not to judge you while we’re in your town. Everybody loves their home, we know that. But we love South Louisiana with a ferocity that borders on the pathological. Sometimes we bury our dead in LSU sweatshirts.

Often we don’t make sense. You may wonder why, for instance – if we could only carry one small bag of belongings with us on our journey to your state – why in God’s name did we bring a pair of shrimp boots? We can’t really explain that. It is what it is.

You’ve probably heard that many of us stayed behind. As bad as it is, many of us cannot fathom a life outside of our border, out in that place we call Elsewhere. The only way you could understand that is if you have been there, and so many of you have. So you realize that when you strip away all the craziness and bars and parades and music and architecture and all that hooey, really, the best thing about where we come from is us. We are what made this place a national treasure. We’re good people. And don’t be afraid to ask us how to pronounce our names. It happens all the time.

When you meet us now and you look into our eyes, you will see the saddest story ever told. Our hearts are broken into a thousand pieces. But don’t pity us. We’re gonna make it. We’re resilient. After all, we’ve been rooting for the Saints for 35 years. That’s got to count for something. OK, maybe something else you should know is that we make jokes at inappropriate times. But what the hell.

And one more thing: In our part of the country, we’re used to having visitors. It’s our way of life. So when all this is over and we move back home, we will repay to you the hospitality and generosity of spirit you offer to us in this season of our despair. That is our promise. That is our faith.

How do you define good writing? What work has recently inspired you?

Southern Housepitality: Become Your Own House Guest

Throughout my life I have noticed certain inalienable truths. You'll always find what you're looking for the day after you need it. The home projects you've been meaning to tackle (ugly countertops, hideous paint jobs, tragic flooring) are the things that get done just before you hand the keys over to the new owners and move out of your house. And when it comes to rolling out the royal treatment, most of us are adept at treating house guests with a sense of pampering that we fail to master for ourselves in our daily lives. No more, I say. It's time to be your own guest.

Southern hospitality is no joke. And while my first year of living in the south may not have sold me on chitterlings, sweet tea or turnip greens, the great lengths that southern women go to in order to care for their homes and create welcoming spaces for guests (whether they're staying an hour or a week) is near and dear to my heart.

If you're anything like me, hostessing a house guest is an opportunity to tap into your Pinterest-loving, friend-and-family-spoiling, Martha Stewart-idoling inner core. In the days leading up to a house guest's arrival, I find myself pressing linens and arranging fresh flowers while plotting flavored water recipes.

As is known to happen, after the guest leaves life returns to it's regularly-scheduled, hectic pace. Linens get tossed in the dryer instead of line-dried. Flowers bloom and wither on the vine. Water is water.

This is the picture of insanity. Over the course of a year, I probably entertain house guests for an average of 20 cumulative days. That's less than a month when all is said and done.  The other 11 months of the year, I live here. I know I'm not alone int this tendency. So what is it that compels us to care for our guests with such joy and enthusiasm during a brief stay, while we forgo the simple pleasure of a pampered life when it comes to our own daily lives?

No more, I say. It's time to become your own house guest. Below you will find ten of my favorite, standard houseguest niceties. I hope you will treat yourself to one (or eleven) of these simple pleasures. They truly can make the difference between just getting through the day and savoring the little moments of life.

Lavender Water

I have noticed that most lavender waters sold online and in stores are often QUITE expensive. (Put anything in a glass bottle with a french name and I guess it gives them free reign to jack up the price.) Here is  a great recipe for an at-home DIY lavender water that is just as lovely as any you will find in the store. Your local Whole Foods is a great resource for reasonably priced lavender essential oil.

Quality Hand Soap

Sure, you can grab a bottle of hand soap at the local dollar store. It will clean your hands and get the job done, but will it invigorate your spirit? For whatever reason (call me a soap snob), I have found that investing in a quality hand soap is one of those unexpected opportunities for a little pick-me-up moment of invigoration. Two of my favorites hand soaps are Mrs. Meyers in Lemon Verbana and J.R. Watkins in Lavender.

A Cream-Colored Quilt

I will admit, I am a bit quilt-obsessed. There are few things as quintessentially American as being wrapped in a quilt on an autumn night. It feels like being hugged by history.

I know some people love to get crazy and colorful with their bed linens, but I tend to be more of a traditionalist, favoring the crisp, clean look of white linens topped with a cream-colored quilt. Not only does it conjure up a sense of B&B luxury, a cream quilt goes with everything and gives me the freedom to change accessories in the room without having to invest in a new set of sheets.

Here's a beauty from Restoration Hardware

An Signature Scented Candle

Find a signature scented candle. Embrace it. Sprinkle it throughout your home. Breathe deeply throughout the day. Feel good about life. I can understand why some people balk at the thought of paying $30 for something you are going to burn, but I have noticed that Henri Bendel candles really do last forever. They claim to have a 60-hour burn time, and I have squeezed a year of fairly regular use (hour-long burning sessions) out of mine. Firewood is my signature scent. It's like having an eternal autumn on speed-dial.

Another favorite candle brand: Linea's Lights. Soy candles, cotton wicks, utterly amazing scents. I pray that they will bring Forest Fir back this Christmas, at which point I will be stocking up with enough to get me through the year.

Quality Stationary

Every woman needs a set (or two..or eighteen) of quality stationary on standby. My suggestion is:

• a set of personalized, blank stationary for formal correspondence
• a set of fun, blank stationary for casual correspondence
• a set of quality thank you notes (because, let's be frank, most greeting cards sold on supermarket shelves are simply hideous)

If you are in the Asheville, NC area, be sure to check out The Baggie Goose. It is one of my favorite places in AVL, and quite possibly the planet. If you're not in the Asheville area, check out Crane & Co. for stunning stationary.

Reading Material

Last year I went a little nuts with Amazon's Christmas $5-$10 magazine special, and I must admit, opening the mailbox to discover a new glossy awaiting me still gives me a kid-on-Christmas thrill. Whether your vice is celebrity gossip, interior design or guns & ammo, go ahead and indulge in reading material for your bathtub bookshelf. Your secret is safe with me.

Line-dried Linens

Nothing smells more amazing that line-dried linens. And white linens bleached by the sun? Utter heaven. Do it. And while you're at it, check out LaundryList.org.

40 slotted clothespins for $2.30

A beautiful, signature tumbler

A special, pretty tumbler, all my own, makes me want to drink more water throughout the day. Or lemonade. Or mojito.

Yummy Bath Products

What pampering list would be complete without a little tub-side luxury? I realize the above photo looks like a jellyroll gone awry, but trust me on this. Lush has THE MOST amazing bath products ever. And while they're far from cheap, they are worth every penny. And the cost of shipping. And the wait time as they slowly travel down from Canada. Try the bubble bar in Karma. Bathtime will never be the same.

Note: I slice off half-dollar size pieces of the bubble bars to extend their life (and help my wallet.) While you won't get a bubble extravaganza from such a small piece, it is more than enough to scent the water, your skin and bathroom.

Fruit Infused Elixirs

I always get a kick out of the spa waiting area. Admid the zen waterfall and mood lighting, women chug down thimble-sized cupfuls of spa elixir (fruit infused water.) The possibilities here are endless. I like to pull from my garden. Play around until you find a combination that makes your taste buds cheer.

A few options...

• Citrus fruits (lemon, lime, orange, grapefruit)
• Berries (raspberries, blueberries, blackberries, strawberries)
• Cucumber slices
• Ginger
• Herbs (basil, mint)

Now, go forth and spoil thyself. Happy living!

xo,

Amy

6 Things Food Trucks Can Teach us about Social Media

Food trucks are all the rage. They’re popping up everywhere, embodying the principles of not only fine dining, but fine design on the go. There are food truck lunch breaks, food truck festivals, even food truck weddings. And now food trucks are teaching us a thing or two about social media.

This weekend I came across a must-read article: 6 THINGS FOOD TRUCKS CAN TEACH US ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA.

Consider it an essential Monday morning read. Not only will it get your wheels turning, it may get your stomach rumbling, too.

When I say “Starbucks,” you say...???

What words or phrases come to mind when you see a Starbucks logo? What feelings do you associate with the Porsche seal? What do you think about when you pass a truck with the FedEx mark painted on its side? Here’s a fun little midweek find that will give you some insight on how other people are answering similar questions.

Brandtags is a crowdsourced collection of consumer brand sentiment. The premise is that a brand exists entirely in people’s heads, therefore a brand is whatever they (people/customers) say it is. Brandtags is a place where people can share their opinions about brands freely, and brand owners can learn how their brands are viewed.

Check out Brandtags to try out logo free association, or to explore how others define the brands that play a part in our daily lives.

You're the Flip to my Flop

I sometimes think colorful rubber flipflops are the sexiest thing a woman can wear. They're unpretentious. They come with their own sound effects. They bask in the sunshine. Simply put, they are the footwear of happy souls (and happy soles) with nothing to hide.

Bringing Back Recess

Yesterday was one of those unusually cool autumnal days we don’t see a lot of this time of year in South Carolina. The kind of weather that compels you to slow down and take note of the world. The choreography of leaves dancing in the wind. A man walking a matching pair of dogs down the sidewalk. The sound of footsteps over a gravel path. It was the kind of day that compels neighbors to stop, wave and say hello instead of just passing by. As I sat in my car, stopped at a red light, I noticed two men sitting on a downtown bench. They were two people who appeared to be from very different walks of life. On the left, an older man in a suit. On the right, a younger man with dreadlocks almost to his waist–and a style most of us here have come to closely associate with Asheville. Despite their differences, they appeared to be engaged in a pleasant exchange. The kind that takes place when two strangers decide to embrace an usually autumnal day and happen to come to a rest on the same bench.

In the sixty seconds I sat at the light watching those two men, a realization came over me. Most everyone has some sort of social media skills these days, but social skills are going extinct. We do a lot of talking, but we don’t make much time for conversation. We interact a lot, but connection is becoming rare.

Go find a park bench at lunch today. Take a walk with a colleague to get a cup of coffee. Talk with someone for five minutes. Your day and your heart will thank you. Take a break and GO TO RECESS! (In case you haven’t heard, recess is back.)

Twitter will still be there when you get back.

I promise.

However you got here, here you are.

Tonight I was watching a documentary called "Enlighten Up!" It's about a skeptic's journey into the world of yoga. I am not a yoga person. I can't stand on my head. I have issues with spandex clothing. The thought of being trapped in a hot room with a bunch of sweaty, stinky strangers is pretty much my worst nightmare. I do, however, recognize a good piece of advice when I hear one. A quote from the almost-end of the movie, when our protagonist has a sit down chat with an Indian guru.

‎"You could have come by cycle, you could have come by car, you could have come by elephant, you could have come by foot. To reach here, there are so many directions. That depends on where you are at present. You are the most important person under the sun. What is east? From where does east begin? You are the center point. From you, this is east. For me, east would be different. That point could be west to you. You are the most important person under the sun. It's not important what you are doing. It's important why you are doing. You can prepare food for just consuming. You can prepare food for somebody you love. You can prepare food for The Lord. The action will be the same, physically, but inside it will be different. If you are forced to do cooking for somebody you don't like, you will do it, you will cook. But you won't enjoy it. Everything depends on you, hangs on you. So you should feel the importance of yourself. You are the most important person." 

We Could All Use a Little More Pixie Dust

When I was little, I had a lot of fantastical ideas. I was convinced my stuffed animals came to life at night to protect the house from burglars lurking in the shadows. I tried to make a deal with the Tooth Fairy to keep her spare change and leave me a unicorn. Once I even pilfered an egg from the fridge and squirreled it away in my room, tucked snuggly in a knitted hat. Convinced that the egg would hatch within days, I hadn’t really thought through how I would explain a new pet chick to my parents, but I was sure they wouldn’t be able to cast him away once they saw his little fluffy face. (Note: My master plan did not result in a pet chick. It did, however, give me valuable insight into why we refrigerate dairy products.) Childhood is a time of imagination, magic and vast possibility. According to psychology researchers at Lancaster University in England, bringing magical content—everything from the Tooth Fairy to the witches and wizards that rule Harry Potter’s Hogwarts—into the classroom boosts student imagination and creativity.

The Study 52 children between the ages of four and six were divided into two groups. The first group viewed scenes from Harry Potter that included characters wielding their wands, using magic and talking to animals. The second group watched clips where no magic is used. At the conclusion of the viewing, both groups of students were asked to come up with alternative uses for a cup and create “drawings of impossible items.” The researchers found students who had watched the magical clips significantly outscored the other group on creativity tests. They concluded that exposure to magical thinking— which they defined as “ways of acting and reasoning about the physical world that violate known physical principles”—enables children to “create fantastic imaginary worlds.” That in turn increases student’s ability to “view the world and act upon it from multiple perspectives.”

Albert Einstein once said, “Logic will get you from A to Z; imagination will get you everywhere.” It seems there may be more truth to that statement than anyone realized. In the pursuit to find creative and innovative solutions for our clients, we must surround ourselves with magical props, people and possibilities.

On my desk you’ll find an adopted monster, a creativity voodoo doll and a tiny jar of pixie dust. Visitors often ask about them in passing. Truth be told, the monster isn’t that scary, I suspect the voodoo doll is defective and the pixie dust has probably passed its expiration date. These objects in and of themselves don’t make me any more mighty. They don’t give me superpowers. The do, however, serve as little reminders to take a few moments each day to let my head to float up into the clouds. They remind me of a rare and precious time in life when fairies made fair trades, stuffed animals were the best kind of home security system and a dozen peeping pet chicks were just a couple days in a warm hat away. Even a few brief moments a day in that magical memory makes me happy. And when I am happy, I am undeniably a better writer.

Last week I was taking a stroll through the BOF blog archives, and I came across a post from Greg Cordell inspired by his daughter, Kylie. Having known the Cordells for some time now, I am fully convinced that if you examined them under a microscope, you’d find pixie dust twinkling in the double helix of their DNA.

I was reminded of the power of super-sized dreams when I got home last night. As I walked into the house, I noticed Kylie, my nine-year-old daughter, sitting on a blanket in the middle of the backyard, talking to herself. I asked my wife what Kylie doing out there. She told me that our daughter had explained that she was gong outside to pray and she was going to need “lots of space.”

When Kylie came in I gave her a big hug and, of course, I asked what she was doing on the blanket in the middle of the yard. She told me she was praying. “What were you praying for?” I asked. At first she didn’t want to tell me. She said it was a secret. But, as big dreams often do, her prayer bubbled to the surface and she shared that she was praying for a pet dragon. That’s right, a pet dragon. Fully expecting her prayer to be answered, Kylie needed lots of space for the dragon to land, explaining the reason she was praying outside. I asked what she would do if she had a pet dragon. She told me the dragon would make popcorn for her. “Yes,” I said. “That would be very cool.”

During tough economic times, dreams and dreamers can take a beating. Dreams gets pushed aside and we just try to get through the day faster and cheaper. Rather than super-sizing, we can get caught up in “right sizing” and before you know it, we aren’t really dreaming at all. But maybe during tough times is when dreams need to be the biggest. Call me irresponsible or idealistic if you want, but I doubt I’ll ever see any magic in ordinary microwave popcorn again. Not when I can have a dragon in the backyard that will make it for me.

Wishing you a magical Wednesday.

——

Read more on the study here

http://www.good.is/post/could-harry-potter-and-the-tooth-fairy-be-the-key-to-boosting-student-creativity/