Wanderdust: A Memoir to Myself on My 32nd Birthday

The day I left South Carolina I cried. I cried my way through half of North Carolina. I cried on my way past the mountains. I cried past peach stands, boiled peanuts and the house my ancestors built over a century ago. I cried passing the Blue Ridge overpass, the exit to Biltmore and the turnoff to Asheville. I cried through handfuls of songs and multiple commercial breaks. And although I was bursting with anticipation and excitement about what I was driving toward, I refused to look in the rearview mirror until I hit the Kentucky line, for fear that if I caught a glimpse of what I was leaving behind, I'd turn the car around.

The older I get, the more I realize this is life. Each day we're writing stories with our time, our moments, our choices. Every minute of every day we're filling the pages of a story that will ultimately be filed on a shelf alongside the story of everyone else.

History is happening -- and it's happening fast. There are no do overs, no rewind buttons, no mulligans. There are only choices and onward marches.

This weekend I turned 32. It's a good, sturdy age, 32. Old enough to have gotten over most of the bullshit hangups of youth, young enough to have not given up. Young enough to feel there's still plenty of time, old enough to know that's not how it always works out.

32. The older I get, the more I feel myself getting taken down with life's insatiable undertow. I want to be everywhere. I worry I'm not reading enough. There are continents and shorelines my feet have yet to meet. I long for adventure and at the same time crave stability. I am simultaneously paralyzed and propelled onward and upward by all the dots on the map where I find infinite amounts of love available to me. My definition of "family" and "home" have expanded exponentially, while my perception of a great big world has shrunk a little bit with each stop along the way.

“Home wasn't a set house, or a single town on a map. It was wherever the people who loved you were, whenever you were together. Not a place, but a moment, and then another, building on each other like bricks to create a solid shelter that we take with us for our entire lives, wherever we may go.

In life, a person will come and go from many homes. We may leave a house, a town, a room, but that does not mean those places leave us. Once entered, we never entirely depart the homes we make for ourselves in the world. They follow us, like shadows, until we come upon them again, waiting for us in the mist.”

Friday night I traveled back to one of my dots, and there -- under fairy lights -- I had an epiphany. The word wanderlust is more or less defined as the desire to travel to new and foreign lands. If there is truly a counterbalancing equivalent to everything in the universe, then I propose the notion of "wanderdust." If wanderlust is the curiosity-driven desire compelling us into the unknown, wanderdust is the gratitude-laden breadcrumb trail of memories and moments and conversations that will always lead us home.

"Promise me you'll shake things up, wherever you go," you once said, "People out there are desperate to dance and swirl around and lose their minds."

I've got two snow globes -- one in each hand.

This is life.

And 32.

Buy This Book...Then Go Cook Yourself.

By now my regular creepers followers know that the list of things that bring me joy is long, varied and ongoing. From bare feet to wooden spoons, narwhals to misheard lyrics, it's sort of an ever-evolving archive of Amy-endorsed awesomeness in no particular order. Two things consistently hovering near the top of the list: dinner parties and friends.

To date, one of the best days of my life remains the evening GVL BFF and I live-streamed the making of "The Turducken of Cheese Balls" (Yes, it is a thing. Yes, it is a crazy pain in the ass to make. Yes, it is just as glorious as you could ever possibly imagine.) after stumbling across the recipe on the internets. Roughly a hundred dollars, a couple bottles of wine, a little hysteria and a dozen layers of foodstuffs later, we arrived at this. AND OUR LIVES WERE NEVER THE SAME AGAIN. 

My birthday twin, Julia Child, once said, "In cooking you've got to have a what-the-hell attitude.” If you're looking for a way to stoke your what-the-hell fire, Go Cook Yourself is a good place to start. Coincidentally, they just published their first book...and I have assembled ten incredibly compelling reasons you will instantly fall in heart with GCY and should pick up a copy of their book right now.

TEN REASONS TO GO COOK YOURSELF

1. Let's cut to the chase. The authors* are British people, so when you read the book in the voice in your mind, you can pretend the recipe calls for “basil” instead of “basil.” And we all know THAT IS WAY MORE ADORABLE. (Also, for some reason, much less bothersome to the American ear than the way the British insist on pronouncing "aluminum.") (Side note: the dictionary claims we all pronounce basil the same way. The dictionary is clearly in denial and I can no longer trust anything it says.)
2. (Straight men...skip directly to bullet 3. Gays and girls...come with me.) The “British people” are actually “British twin brothers.” Coincidentally they are also “British handsome.” If commercials have taught us anything, it is that two are better than one. And if you haven’t based your entire understanding of everything that is right and good in the world on the indisputable wisdom of late-80s advertising, you’re no friend of mine.
3. Now is your chance to finally get around to learning something about the metric system, which you probably did in fifth grade and again in tenth grade and then promptly forgot because "IT'S NOT LIKE I'M EVER GOING TO USE THIS." Guess what, younger self? You were WRONG. Not only will mastery of the metric system help you win friends and influence people, it will also take you one step closer to becoming a badass like Walter White. Bonus: instead of leading you down a path of sin that ruins your life and destroys your family, GCY will lead you down a path to a delicious pile of something delicious.
4. Know who likes bacon? Go Cook Yourself. Know who else likes bacon? Ron Swanson. Know what else Ron Swanson likes? Puppies and dancing. If you don’t buy this book I will assume that means you hate puppies, dancing and bacon, which will leave me with no choice but to write an open letter about you. And we all know how that goes.
5. Cooking is sexy…and it knows it.
6. Three Reasons, One Photo.
7. One word: s’moreos. THIS IS A THING.
8. The book is gloriously meatball and meatloaf-free. In every conceivable way.
9. The book will challenge you to challenge yourself...by eating "black pudding." After reading up on the matter, I have come to realize that "black pudding" is just a polite British way of saying "SAUSAGE OF DOOM." If you are American and send me a video of you eating (or even attempting to eat) black pudding, I will create a post on this blog and you will become an honorary member of The Hall of WTFame. Note: *I* will never become a member of the Hall of WTFame because NO. Just...no.
10. Because I said so. And I would never lie to you.

>>> Buy the book on Amazon or B&N. <<<

Then go follow Go Cook Yourself...

ON TWITTER... @GoCookYourself ON INSTAGRAM... @GoCookYourself ON FACEBOOK... facebook.com/GoCookYourself ON THE INTERWEBS... GoCookYourself.com

*Full disclosure: I am faraway friends with half of the authors, however he neither compensated me for nor encouraged me to write this post. It is also entirely possible he will be completely mortified by it. Hi Dan. Congratulations on the book!

On Writing Clear and Hard About What Hurts

As a writer, I love words. I believe in words. They open us up, shake out our souls, draw us together, and sometimes, pull us apart. They are the most fundamental brick of history, a timeless capsule, a message in a bottle we’ve been launching for the greater whole of human existence. I have always found it strange to self-identify as a “writer.” In my experience, when you tell people “I am a writer,” they look at you as though you’ve just announced you are leaving the priesthood to track narwhals for the remainder of your life.

It’s even more bizarre when it is the others who identify you as such.

“I’ve been doing this since first grade,” I want to tell them. “I won a handwriting contest in 6th grade. You won’t believe what I can do with a steamy bathroom mirror or a grocery list.” (But that would be a bit snotty, I realize.)

Sometimes I cannot tell whether I am the happiest girl to ever pick up a pen or if I rue the day ink was born. Nobody tells you what this world is really like. (Though I suppose I could have guessed had I paid more attention to the bottle-bottom wisdom of Hemingway and Bukowski in the latter parts of their lives.)

Writers live in a suspended state of voluntary solitude, surrounded but alone. We speak to everyone and no one. The feelings, the thoughts, the experiences are our own, but we forget ahead, flinging them into outer space and onto the page in the hopes of finding something marvelous waiting for us on the end of the line. We yell into the abyss to await the echo. We offer up the best parts of ourselves to strangers and acquaintances like yearbook signatures and casual Christmas cards.People come and go, taking a piece of us with them.

“Write hard and clear about what hurts,” Hemingway once said. Never one for the rules, I opted to write hard and clear about what I know. I wrote about the secret lives of neon lights, the smell of summer, the first person to add chili powder to chocolate ice cream. I wrote about country drives, bouquets of wooden spoons and a master plan to stop the weeping willows from weeping, never realizing that all the while I was writing the story of saudade.

I read your book today, cover to cover.

Maybe the road trip takers and fragile, fearless souls aren’t so different after all.

This post was originally shared on Medium 

A Letter to the Hill

When I was in college we used to do inanimate writing assignments. It changes the way you think and relate to the world when you’re asked to come at life through the lens of something you’ve always taken for granted. Be it a graffiti wall or an abandoned car or a tiny golf pencil, when you stop over-thinking, you begin to see into the soul of the world around you. This not only makes for better writers, it makes for a better human existence.

This weekend a friend asked me in passing about the wine I was drinking, and I found myself wondering “why write about a bottle of wine, when you write on her behalf?”

The truth is that my Friday night wine came from a favorite vineyard in the photo at the top of this blog post. It’s a no-name winery straddling the cusp between Napa and Sonoma that most people drive right past. The vines twist and turn at the base of a little mountain that keeps watch over them as they bask in the California sunshine day after day, season after season. If the bottle could speak, I imagine her penning letters to her hill. And this is what I believe she would say…

I like you more than all my appendages and most major organs. I like you better than long weekends and sno-cones in July. I like you better than pumpkin carving and palindromes. I like you better than birthday cards and more than fresh fruit. I like you better than hosta leaves and first pick of the cinema seats. I like you better than thunderstorms and sunny days when they predicted rain. I like you better than peanut butter and jelly cut on the diagonal. I like you better than cello solos and every coin wish in the bottom of the Trevi Fountain. I like you better than the thesaurus and dictionary combined. I like you more than 1.618 which is a number that once had significant meaning to me but now I’m not sure why. It is cowardly that I say these things in this way, but I simply cannot hold onto all these balloons. So, instead, I am releasing this SOS in the hopes that one day, maybe, when we’re old or young, happy or sad, you will find them. And you will know that if presented with a choice between you and Orion’s belt and all the sun’s tea and a Texan bluebonnet field that went on for miles…I still would have chosen you.

A Letter Unfurled

The medulla oblongata controls automatic functions of the body. Heartbeat. Breathing.

Long before we've even entered the world, before we understand what it even means to be alive, this little part of our brain is hard at work having already figured out what we need.

There are some things we, as a people, are meant to do. Without knowing how or when or why. These things have no beginning. No end. They just always are. We're never taught how to do them, somehow we just know. For me, loving you has been one of these things. It is as much a necessary part of my life as heartbeats. And breaths in. And breaths out. Nobody ever taught me how to love you, but I know without knowing how or when or why. I've been doing it all my life. I knew before I knew you. I knew before I met the world. I knew before I knew what it meant to be alive.

Meet a Community Manager Monday: Betsy Decillis

Welcome back to Meet a Community Manager Monday! A few weeks ago we kicked off what a recurring series of interviews with community, social and interactive marketing managers from various fields. 

Today I have the pleasure of introducing Betsy Decillis, a fellow Columbus gal. I can't quite recall when or where Betsy and I met, but over the past several years our careers have taken unexpected and wonderful turns, and a friendhip has blossomed along the way. These days she's heading up her company, BAD Consulting, taking the occasional break to Facebook pictures of her beloved cat Cesare. 

Enjoy the read! 

Who are you? I'm a cat-obsessed, Yankees-loving dork. I'd say geek, but my inability to make at least one of my tech devices work on a daily basis speaks to me being more dork than geek.

What do you do? I own my own business (Betsy A. Decillis Consulting, aka BAD Consulting). I was told to come up with a title, so I started calling myself the Chief Content Officer.

Where do you do it? My couch, Panera, Starbucks, random offices, etc. The world is my office. My favorite is Panera, because I become totally focused on writing. Plus, there is always someone sitting near my "desk" that is unintentionally feeding me material. Being anti-social as a rule, it's necessary that I get out to listen to how other people talk.

What has been your most memorable moment as a community manager? I was about to fly out to Austin for the weekend. I'd only been working with my business's first client for about a month, and we were seeing some great results but nothing spectacular. The client took this photo of a "Last Call", which happens at a firefighter's funeral. It was two firetrucks with ladders up, each holding the end of a flag. The sky was the perfect shade of blue and the flag was flapping in the wind. I posted it with a quickie caption thought of on the spot and got on the plane. It was risky and not something I normally would do, but I knew the client was watching. I touched down in Dallas to her text messages freaking out about how the picture blew up. I can't really describe it, but it was part validation of my skills and part of reminding me of how much I love social and working with clients. I have amazing clients that know how to collaborate to make this stuff fun.

What was the hardest thing you have had to handle as a community manager? I was personally attacked on a client's Facebook page. Someone found out who I was and went to town on me and my client for using my services. My boyfriend calls me naive, and there's a bit of truth to that. I never see attacks coming, and to have it happen so openly made me crumple a bit. I want to believe everyone is deep down a nice person, and I hate to be proven wrong on that fact. It took awhile before I could open that client's pages without trepidation.

In your opinion, what is the biggest misconception about community management? That you actually manage anything. It's best to take your cues from the audience. Get down and play with them. That's when the magic happens.

What are the top 3 personality traits a good community manager needs to have? Good listener, storyteller and fun. Nobody wants to follow a boring person.

What are the top 3 skills a good community manager brings to the table? Being able to hold a lot of information in their heads, love of learning new things and being able to teach.

What has community management taught you about people in general? That most people are good. It's hard, because we do have to put way too much energy into trolls. I always focus on the why of a troll, when there is usually no why. Putting more of my energy into the good always results in people being nice and supportive. Funny enough, that helps when those trolls pop up.

What do you know now that you wish you had known when you first got into community management? That it's okay to relinquish control. I want to take care of my audience at all times. But sometimes they need to take care of me and lead me to where we need to go. Whenever I need to be inspired, I simply ask why they love my client. I learn a lot from that. If I had known that at first, it would have helped a lot in the content creation.

Community Management is …the most all-encompassing job there is. You never know what you'll have to do or who you will have to talk to, and it requires that you have as broad a knowledge as possible.

Community Management is not …managing a community. If you try to do what the name implies, they are going to bite you. Let them lead.

In your opinion, what brands (besides your own, of course) are doing social really well? I love Visit Savannah and Travel Oregon. Both organizations are filled with nice, fun people, and their social reflects that. And with all the awesome pictures they post, I'm dying to get to both locations. Mission accomplished.

What are three tools that make your job easier? (Yes. I want you to share your secret weapons.) Buffer, Instagram and Facebook Groups. The last two aren't technically tools, but they are so useful. I use a hashtag to source content via Instagram that can be used on multiple networks. Facebook Groups are great for when you need a mental health break or advice. And Buffer helps me effectively feed the beast that is Twitter.

What one thing would you like to tell the world about community management? I don't just play on the Twitters all day, like my boyfriend likes to tell people. And it's actually the most demanding job I've ever had. That says a lot, since I used to work on political campaigns.

What is the biggest change you have seen in community management over the course of your career? People are getting smarter. That's both the companies dipping their toes in and the audience. Overall, companies are getting better, which makes everyone have to up their game. And audiences are getting better at seeing through crap, which, once again, makes everyone have to up their game. There is a much larger learning curve than when I started playing in this world.

Current clients aside, what is one community you would love to work with and why? I can't pick between these two, so feel free to get mad at me for putting two: the Pope and the Yankees. I think a lot of people think I'm kidding when I say that I want to tweet for the Pope, but I badly do. I think there is so much the Church can do to become relevant in the world of social and reach out to the younger parishioners. And there are a lot of misconceptions about being Catholic that can easily be cleared up by being active and engaging. With Pope Francis, I foresee that we will see a huge change in their use of social. The tweets from the @pontifex account show a lot of promise. It still needs to talk with the people, and I'd love to see what would happen if it went there. Also, Pope Francis told young people to dream big, so I'm totally following his advice here.

The Yankees have been a long time love of mine. I have two nephews that grew up as ballplayers (one is about to coach the other this summer!). I would have this job exactly one day, because I would totally only talk about one part of the game: How hot these guys look in pinstripes. I feel like that would get a ton of engagement and make a lot more people interested in what the Yankee accounts have to say.

If you could only have one social network, which one would it be? Facebook. Say what you will, it's still very useful. Facebook fans are more likely to tell me stories and Facebook Groups have saved me on more than one occasion.

What is your favorite part about your job? I love teaching. Watching the light go on in someone's eyes as they get something is just amazing. This is why when I write blog posts, it will tend to be towards the 101-200 audience. They need us the most, and they are the most grateful.

As a CM/SM, there is an expectation that you be constantly plugged in. How do you find work/life balance? For me as a solo business owner, yes. That is also a personality defect though. I've balanced it out with date nights with friends and the boyfriend where I'm not allowed to check client stuff. I just recently took a vacation that was made possible by my iPad. I could spend time with my family, but I could regularly post and/or check on posts. I literally watched my nephew make a key play in a ballgame while keeping watch on a post. I also try to make work as fun as possible. Working from home, I have a cat that requires play and attention. Best office environment for me, since he pulls me out of working 24/7. When on the road for a client, it's always a blast. Since I have a focus on tourism, my job is literally to have fun and then write about it. So the industry I have chosen is probably the biggest factor in maintaining that balance.

What one piece of advice would you give a young person who aspires to work in SM? Be helpful to the people and brands that interest you. Find the small to mid-level brands you want to work for and engage on their social (within reason). For every account I work on, I can easily list the top 5 engagers and/or content producers. I count on this core group of people for a variety of reasons. Should I ever decide to hire and one of their names happened to be in there, I would take notice. Don't expect it to happen overnight. It takes a long time to become a part of this core group on these accounts. So start the process long before you are even thinking of needing a job or an internship.

How do you spark conversations with your community? What kinds of things work? What have you found not to work? FOOD! People are hungry at certain times of the day. It's amazing what happens when you post a nice glossy picture of something yummy at those times. Also, historical photos. People love to tell their stories about these pictures.

If you had to distil all your CM/SM wisdom down into one guiding principle, what would it be? I used to work at Target, and they have a guiding principle for their employees that speaks true for social: Be fast, fun and friendly.

3 industry blogs you read regularly? Spin Sucks and anywhere that Lisa Barone or Amber Naslund write.

3 must-follow Tweeters

@KatieCook (If you make friends with her, I'm pretty sure she'd help you bury a dead body. She's that nice.) @prTini (The most supportive person I know.) @Shonali (HOLY SMART! She always replies back, and she obviously loves to teach. I've learned way too much from her. I could never repay her for all of the help she's given me. Same goes for @prTini.)

What do you do for fun? I run, dance like a fool in my kitchen, read, play with my cat, giggle with my boyfriend, watch Yankee games and drink wine.

A shout out to your favorite non-profit? Cat Welfare Association (I love how the cats are free to roam around the shelter) and Colony Cats (where I got my cat, Cesare.)

When you were little what did you think you were going to be when you grew up? A ballerina and Governor of New York. I was in love with Mario Cuomo and thought it would be a better job than president. Yes, these really were the thoughts of a 7 year old.

Meet a Community Manager Monday: Katie Cook

Welcome back to Meet a Community Manager Monday! A few weeks ago we kicked off what a recurring series of interviews with community, social and interactive marketing managers from various fields. 

Today I have the pleasure of introducing you all (or maybe I should say y'all...) to Katie Cook, Interactive Marketing Manager for The Austin Convention & Visitors Bureau.

Happy reading!

||| THE INTERVIEW ||| 

Who are you? Katie Cook

What do you do? Interactive Marketing Manager

Where do you do it? Austin Convention & Visitors Bureau, aka VisitAustinTX.

What has been your most memorable moment as a community manager? The first time I met someone at an event that followed us on Twitter and Facebook and she complimented us on our work.

What was the hardest thing you have had to handle as a community manager There have been a few occasions where large numbers of people unhappy with a decision made by a government entity target our accounts to voice their opinion. They seem to choose to target our Facebook page over others because of its reach. We don’t automatically delete negative comments, but we will if it doesn’t relate to tourism and/or is inaccurate. It can be tough to decide what we leave on the page and what we delete.

What are the top three personality traits a good community manager needs to have? I believe a good community manager should have a sense of humor, be a good listener and be friendly. If you don’t like to hang out with people in real life, you probably won’t be the best at managing an online community.

What are the top three skills a good community manager brings to the table?Creativity, good writing skills and a strong work ethic. Community management done well is definitely not an 8-5 job.

What has community management taught you about people in general? People just want to be heard. Whether they love something or have a complaint, they want to know someone is listening.

What do you know now that you wish you had known when you first got into community management? I have been a community manager since 2009. Over the years I have figured out what followers on each social media account are looking for from the brand. They are all unique and should be treated as such.

Community Management is…being the online voice and ears of your brand.

Community Management is not …sales.

In your opinion, what brands (besides your own, of course) are doing social really well? I’m going to stick to my world of tourism for this answer. Some of the ones I watch closely because they do such a great job are Visit Savannah, Travel Oregon, Discover Los Angeles and Visit Philly.

What are three tools that make your job easier? For Twitter, Hootsuite. It is great for social listening and scheduling up tweets, though I do this sparingly. For photo curation, our Flickr Group Pool and our hashtag on Instagram. I can then share those photos on Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook. The third would be my iPhone. I do a lot of checking on accounts and capturing photos outside the work day, so my phone is my secret weapon for that.

If you could only have one social network, which one would it be? Personally, Twitter is still my favorite. I learn from the people I follow there every day and have made many close connections with a lot of them. On the brand side, Twitter is the best for social listening and providing a customer service. Facebook has the most users and is great for inspiring people to travel.

What is your favorite part about your job? Being the voice of the city that I love.

As a CM/SM, there is an expectation that you be constantly plugged in. How do you find work/life balance? This is a tough thing to do, and I know that sometimes I am checking in way too often. Because I am a mom of two, I have to make sure I unplug and focus on my family. I sometimes have social media-free weekends and unplugged vacations, just to take a break from it all.

How do you spark conversations with your community? What kinds of things work? What have you found not to work? On Facebook, any photo or event that triggers a memory gets our community talking and sharing. A lot of them used to live in Austin or haven’t visited in awhile, so they love anything I share that is an Austin tradition. Also, any mention of barbecue restaurants gets a great debate started about which BBQ spot is the best! On Twitter, people love when I share upcoming events and “best of list” articles/blog posts.

If you had to distil all your CM/SM wisdom down into one guiding principle, what would it be? Write your posts and respond to questions like a person would speak. Do it with personality! Have a friendly voice behind the logo. Remember the social in social media.

LET'S TALK AUSTIN

Austin is pretty widely accepted as one of the leading cities in the US when it comes to tourism marketing (if not THE leader) -- what do you think is the secret sauce of Austin's success? Thanks for the huge compliment!  There are other destinations that do a great job as well (see my list above.) With regard to Austin, I think it is a mix of things. Austin is a city with a very active social media and tech community, so some of our first followers and advocates were locals. After we had an established following, we hired Sparkloft Media to help us with campaigns, contests and reporting. We still do all of the community management internally, but they helped us take things to the next level. I am lucky to have leadership that wants me to try new things and be innovative with our digital marketing. I also have great colleagues that help me gather content and post to our various niche accounts. Shout out to Amanda, Evan, Shilpa, Kristi, Christine and Brian!

If you had to sum up the people of Austin in five words, what would they be? Friendly, innovative, creative, music fans and fun!

What are people looking for when they come to Austin? They want to experience our live music scene. We actually created Twitter and Instagram accounts just for live music. We are unique as a destination marketing organization in that we have a Music Office. Our Music Industry Manager, Amanda, has been the voice on @musicaustin since the beginning. She rocks!

Doing community management for a literal community is sort of like community management to the second power. You deal with everything from people who have chosen to call the community home to people who are drawn there for vacation. What special challenges does this community-squared role present? It is a bit of a challenge because our mission is to market Austin to visitors and meeting planners. Not to people relocating here. However, our Chamber of Commerce is active on social media as well, so I am able to give their information out to people that have questions about their move. We have locals that act as our ambassadors on social media and we love it. We actually started a program called True Austin that allows some of our local bloggers/influencers to answer visitor questions on social media and email. Visitors want to know what the locals recommend.

One of my mentors recently taught me a fun game. When he visits a new city, he asks the server "If I was never coming back here, what should I order?" (On friskier days, he tells them he might be dying tomorrow...). If I were only making one trip to Austin...

What one place should I eat and what should I order? That is a really tough question since Austin has so many great restaurants. I know that when I go out of town, I miss eating Tex Mex the most, so I would say that you have to go to Torchy’s Tacos and order the queso and two fried avocado tacos. What one place should I have a drink? Another tough question. Austin has some really great margaritas, craft cocktails and now several breweries and brew pubs. If I had to name just one spot, I would say go sit outside at Uncorked Tasting Room and Wine Bar and order wine and a cheese plate. (People who know me will not be surprised that I suggested wine.) What one thing I should do? You have to experience live music. It is really easy to do as we have more than 250 live music venues including our airport, grocery stores and many restaurants. I would suggest going to see live music outdoors like Blues on the Green. That way you get to experience live music and hang out in one of our favorite parks, Zilker.

WILD CARDS

Three industry blogs you read regularly?

Troy Thompson’s http://travel2dot0.com/thinking/, Tnooz (http://www.tnooz.com/) Sheila Scarborough’s: http://www.sheilasguide.com/

Three non-industry blogs

Jay Baer’s http://www.convinceandconvert.com/ Tom Martin’s http://www.conversedigital.com/ Amber Naslund’s http://www.brasstackthinking.com/

Three must-follow Tweeters

That is an impossible question. I follow more than 1,000 people on Twitter, so narrowing it down to three is tough. The list I would share for this question is https://twitter.com/katiecook/who-i-learn-from-tourism/members

When you were little what did you think you were going to be when you grew up? I thought I would be a writer. My grandfather was a newspaper editor and many of my family members are journalists and writers. Writing a novel is on my bucket list. Someday!

The Importance of Mentors

Last week I found myself sitting across the table from my first professional mentor, filling him in on the past few years of life. Though we've kept in touch (and have sent more than a few emails) over the years, it's hard to top a face-to-face conversation with an old friend over a bottle of wine. At the conclusion of our converastion, he looked at me and proudly declared, "You have really grown into yourself. You have really grown up."

In truth, I probably shouldn't have landed my first job. Years after being hired, I learned how my mentor had challenged the other two hiring managers at the conclusion of the interview process. While they pushed for the easy choice, he placed all his chips on Amy. For whatever reason, despite what I imagine were probably fairly standard interview responses, he recognized something (he calls it "something special") in me that afternoon from across the table. It compelled him to fight for me and take a risk. In doing so, he helped unlock a door that inevitably led to the opportunities and experience that have set the course of my career.

From time to time, I have had people ask me what is the best piece of advice I can offer newbies just stretching their wings in the industry. Invariably, my response is find a mentor.

When to find a mentor. Whether you're a college student or a high school student or a junior high student or an elementary school student, the time is now. Go job shadow. Pick up the phone. Send an email. Reach out to someone who works in a field you're even mildly interested in. Ask them if you can come spend an afternoon trying on their world. I'm willing to bet almost everyone will respond with an enthusiastic yes.

What to look for in a mentor. Though it's not necessary your mentor work in your field, it's definitely an added bonus to have access to an industry sensei. A mentor who has been in the trenches and in your shoes tends to come at things from a place of greater perspective. They can help you see (perhaps even appreciate) the forest rather than obsessing on the trees. They understand the quirks and joys, the ups and downs. They can talk you off the ledge when you're being unreasonable, and give you a push when it's time to get the hell out of Dodge.

More important than industry is integrity. A mentor shouldn't be a "yes man" (or a "yes woman"), they should be a guiding voice, a sounding board and a no-bullshitter. Look for a mentor who can and will be brutally honest, but also understands the value of nurturing. More importantly, look for a mentor who knows when the time is right to employ one or both of the two. My mentors have inspired me and encouraged me, but in many ways I think the fact that they have pushed and challenged me has been even more significant to my career development. They've asked me to do things that terrified me. They've insisted I do things again and again and again. They've pissed me off and made me cry. They've frustrated me and inspired me. And as a result, I've come out the other end better for it.

It's easy to be a buddy. It's less easy to strike a balance between love and tough love. When you find someone like that, you've found your mentor. Don't settle for the easy and obvious choice. Find someone who challenges you. Find someone who pushes you to grow.

Where to find a mentor. I have been extremely fortunate to find mentors down the hall (and at times, sitting at the desk beside me), but not everyone is so lucky. Social networking is a great way to establish first connections with prospective mentors. Engage in conversation. Get to know them. Feel them out and decide if this is someone you respect and feel can give you sound guidance. When you find that someone, all you have to do is ask.

I hold the belief that the creative industry is built upon a mentorship (or perhaps it's better said, apprenticeship) model. Generations of creatives have taken mentees under their wings, in order to pass on the tricks of the trade. They've refined, edited, torn up, red-penned and demanded do-overs, grooming the next generation to take the reins. I believe that most of us who have had the good fortune to be raised under a mentorship model cherish the knowledge it has afforded us and hope to pay it forward and pass that on to others when the time is right.

All you have to do is ask.

An Open Letter to All of You Good People of Earth

Thousands of shares, hundreds of emails, a handful of media opportunities, two weeks and one tweet from Rosie later, I find myself right back where I started, trying to decide how to follow up that letter.

Going viral was unexpected to say the least. When I clicked "publish" on the post, I had every intention of turning in for the night and carrying on with my evening (and life) as usual. Needless to say, that's not exactly how things panned out.

Many people have reached out in the wake of the story wanting to know how things turned out. Did Mike Jeffries respond? Was I going to participate in the Abercrombie protest? Had Ellen reached out yet? (A note to the curious: No. No. And no.)

But here is what did happen...

I received a flood of comments and emails from people of all sizes, shapes, ages, races, sexual orientations and walks of life, sharing their personal stories of bullying, body image and personal struggle.

While the vast majority of the comments were positive (a category into which I also lump comments from those who respectfully and constructively expressed their disagreement with my viewpoint in the letter), there will always be that small handful of people who chime in with hateful negativity no matter what the topic. In this instance, I think those responses served as shining examples of why this conversation is so necessary and important. At the core, the letter was never really about Abercrombie or Mike Jeffries. It was about the impact intolerance has on the world and on the individual. There is no hierarchy of hate. No form of hatred is more or less acceptable than another. Intolerance is unacceptable. Plain and simple. 

Many people have asked me when I knew this letter was "really something." While hearing from Rosie was surreal, the morning I opened my email to discover this letter from a teacher in Georgia was the moment the magnitude of everything really hit me:

"I would like to request permission to reprint Amy Taylor's article, "An Open Letter from a 'Fat Chick' to Mike Jeffries, CEO of Abercrombie and Fitch" for each student in 6th grade at [XXX] Middle School in [XXX}, Georgia.

The Language Arts Department would like to use this piece in a unit on bullying/fitting in during the 2013-14 school year, and students would need their own copy in order to annotate for understanding as they read. I appreciate your considering this request and look forward to hearing back from you."

As a writer, the greatest reward of all is discovering that your words have resonated with someone, inspiring them to take positive action. It has been remarkably humbling to hear how a single letter has empowered so many parents and teachers to start a dialog with their kids about the things they’re struggling through and dealing with on a daily basis.

Despite what some people perceived, the letter didn’t come from a place of anger. It came from the memory of everyone who has played a part in who and where I am today. Throughout my life I have known so many wonderful people who have been bullied and judged for everything from their sexual orientation to the way they speak, the neighborhood they grew up in to the color of their skin. The message of the letter belongs to all of us, I’m just the one who put it to paper.

As a marketer by trade, I’m acutely aware that every brand has a target demographic and a marketing strategy. Some verbalize it, some don’t. I respect the right of every American to speak their mind, whether I agree with it or not. Mike Jeffries’ alleged comments were simply an opening in the conversation that allowed me to share my story. The message I hope people end up taking away from all of this has nothing to do with t-shirts or jeans. We are all works in progress. We have all overcome something in our lives. We all have a story to tell. Chances are, someone out there needs to hear yours.

As for the future, who can say. In the wise words of my dear friend Josh Cox, "A hundred years from now, I’d rather be lost in the crowd of a revolution that started when everyone banded together as one to take our minds and bodies and lives back. If I do what I believe in the way I want to do it, I’ll be lost in a tidal wave of great people doing great things who never would have done those great things if they didn’t realize how great they were as people."

My sincerest thanks to every person who has reached out, left a comment or shared the post. You've given me a front row seat to the best side of humanity. For that, I will be forever grateful.

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Like this? Check out Amy's passion project, Good People of Earth

An Open Letter from a "Fat Chick" to Mike Jeffries, CEO of Abercrombie + Fitch

I remember the moment as though it were yesterday (which is saying a lot, because it was nearly two decades ago...) Last week of 8th grade. One of the "popular girls" walked over to me in gym class and asked if she could write in my yearbook. When she handed my book back, I excitedly turned the cover, only to discover that she had written (in beautiful penmanship) the following:

Have a great summer. Stay thin.

Except the word "thin" had been crossed out with a single line. 

I have always struggled with my weight. Big-boned. Plus-size. Thick. Curvy. Voluptuous. Padded. Pick your adjective. Over the years I learned to deal with it in different ways. I learned to ignore it. Compensate for it. Deny it. Dress it up. Cover it over. Like everyone who struggles with something physical, I wear my battle on the outside for the world to see. There's no running from it, because there is no hiding it.

According to Elite Daily, Mike Jeffries, CEO of Abercombie + Fitch, has allegedly commented on everything from why he hates fat chicks to why he doesn't want "not-so-cool" kids shopping in his stores.

While I was initially outraged by the story, by the time I reached the end of the article, I felt more of a sense of overwhelming pity for the Abercrombie CEO than anything. A man blessed with unimaginable success proudly spouting off soundbites reminiscent of a cruel little girl I knew in eight grade? It would seem Mike Jeffries is a deeply unhappy man.

Mean-spiritedness aside, Mr. Jeffries' comments raise a flag about a bigger, more troubling cultural issue. Pretend, for one moment, that instead of fat chicks, unattractive people or "not-so-cool" kids Mr. Jeffries had said "African Americans" or "homosexuals" or "single moms." As a society, we would rise up and crucify any brand that flaunted that kind of exclusionary business plan.

I'm not slamming Abercrombie, proposing that they start carrying larger sizes or suggesting they welcome everyone into their stores. What I am questioning is why, in a country where two out of every three adults are considered overweight, is it acceptable for anyone, let alone the CEO of a major company, to proudly and publicly sling what could be considered by some to teeter on hate speech?

With each brand that joins arms with companies like Dove, TOMS and Anytime Fitness, opting to lead with their values in order to drive new, important conversations, a positive change is happening. Who do you think will thrive? I'm willing to bet at least two out of three Americans can answer that question...and they'll do so with their dollars.

Now on to the letter.

AN OPEN LETTER TO MR. MIKE JEFFRIES, CEO ABERCROMBIE + FITCH

Dear Mr. Jeffries,

Hi there. It's me, Amy. We've never met, but since it seems we won't be sitting at the same lunch table (or crossing paths in your stores) anytime soon, I thought it was important that you get to know me if you're going to hate me. I'm one of the two out of three Americans you can't stand and don't want in your stores. I'm your neighbor. Your doctor. The young woman working behind the hotel check-in desk. I'm your child's third grade teacher. Your sister's best friend. I'm the veterinarian who saved your dog's life...twice. And the lady sitting next to you on the flight to Los Angeles. I'm the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. I'm the housewife with one heck of an expendable income. I'm the 13-year-old teetering on the verge of an eating disorder. And the 22-year-old battling depression and low self-esteem. I'm the employee working in your office, living in fear that two pounds are the difference between my paycheck and the unemployment line. I'm the American Woman...and I've got something to say to you.

Mike (can I call you Mike?), I'm not only a fat chick, I'm also a "not-so-cool" kid. Always have been, always will be. I've had 31.5 years to come to terms with that. Along the way I have been bullied, tortured, teased and harassed. Somehow I came out the other end better for it. In case you haven't noticed, those not-so-cool kids are the ones who are passing people like you by--and doing some pretty amazing things. (You can read about a couple of them here and here and here.) Funny thing about wearing your struggle on the outside: it makes you stronger. It teaches you how to adapt. It forces you to dig deep and do more. And while people like you are sitting at the cool kids table intent on holding others down, the ragtag team of not-so-cool kids is busy pulling others up...and we've become an unstoppable force driving the world forward.

You got me, Mike! I don't wear a size 4. You should probably also know that my middle fingers curve ever-so-slightly outward and I have a Morton's toe. I'm terrible at long division and I'm not that great at parallel parking. But I'm a good person. I have an awesome job, great friends and a family that I wouldn't trade for the world. I have mentors with brains as big as their giant hearts, and a rescue dog who is always happy to see me at the end of the day. Like everyone (size 4 or size 24), I have wants and hopes and dreams. I dream of writing a children's book and inheriting a large sum of money so I can open a rescue retirement home for all the old shelter dogs that nobody wants. I'd like to pay for the person behind me at the toll booth sometime, and it'd be nice to get around to taking the "Great American Road Trip" one day. Overall I'm a pretty happy person. I'm a loyal friend and I strive to make the world better whenever and however I can. I love my community and I'm proud to call Columbus home. Although Abercrombie is headquartered here, you don't represent the voice or the spirit of the place I know and love. When people think of this city, it is my hope they'll choose to forget your name and instead think of people like Jeni Britton Bauer and Christian Long and Liz Lessner; doers and thinkers giving Columbus (and humankind) a good name.

As a marketer, I understand where you're coming from on some level, Mike. I really do. When you say "a lot of people don't belong in our clothes--they can't belong," I get it. For consumers, every purchase is a declaration. With each dollar a consumer spends, they are saying, "I am part of this brand and this brand is a part of me. I believe what this brand believes. I support what this brand supports." As I sit here wrapping up this letter, I am proud to say that I may be a not-so-cool kid and the extra pounds I carry may not be a thing of beauty, but I am nothing like you or your brand--and that, Mr. Jeffries, is a beautiful thing.

Sincerely, Amy Taylor